I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
