We should be called the Road Head Warriors
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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