Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Randomize
