Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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