this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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