Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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