So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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