You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
He called his prostate his "boner button".
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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