Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
