ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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