I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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