Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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