Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
