No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
