"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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