just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
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