a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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