im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Randomize
