I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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