Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
