I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Randomize
