I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Gay?
German.
Pity.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
