I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
