Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
