I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
