Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Pants are for mortals
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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