I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
