i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
