yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
tequila makes me forget i have legs
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
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