Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
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