the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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