I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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