she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
