benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
