dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
she looked like the before picture.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize
