No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
