Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
