You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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