Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
