I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
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