I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
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