didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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