Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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