Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
