alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
