yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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