please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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