No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
