just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
