And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
