I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
it hurts more in the daytime
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Randomize
